Never-having-skied-before brother-of-Amanda Marcus was over visiting from London. Part of the festivities involved hoiking himself up a snow covered hill with wood planks buckled to his feet. The video of the last run of his first day of skiing probly won’t get many hits on YouTube because there is a conspicuous lack of faceplants, splits or tree kissing.

Next time, Marcus. Next time.

Ok. My name is Tac and I’m a religious onion reader. But hencerforth, I shall be no longer. For this week marks the arrival of the onion TV news only available online.

Onion News Network Promo

“You’ll never read again.”

As my son approaches his 2nd week birthday, I find that I have a renewed interest in shit. And I don’t mean shit as in stuff, I mean shit as in poo. Because Luke is a precious reminder that even though we people have all this specialized useful equipment - hands and eyes and brains and legs - we are all really just tubes that need stuff to go in one end so that stuff can come out the other.

Luke doesn’t have a job yet, and spends all day manufacturing and producing a cornucopia of squirty yellow substances that fill his diapers. On the other hand, I have a job manufacturing product specifications that clutter people’s inboxes, but not much in the way of poo.

Poo Price the internet poo pricing calculator: “Pricing poo since 2002.” Does a decent job of calculating in currency, how much your poo is worth, but I think it would be more useful to calculate how much your job is worth in poos.

“How was your day, honey?”

“Terrific, a real 5-shitter!”

Rules:

1) Tell everyone you know about PILLOW FIGHT!!!
2) Tell everyone you know about PILLOW FIGHT!!!
3) Wait for the Ferry Building clock to strike 6:00pm
4) Don’t hit anyone without a pillow (unless they want it)
5) Don’t hit anyone with a camera
6) HAVE FUN!!!

Amanda started off the new month by giving birth to little Stefan Luke. Even with his limitations (can’t talk, see, etc.) he’s already pretty fun. I sort of see why people adore babies in general, though I never have.

Splendid picture of the 6250m knife edged rock peak of the tallest of the “Four Girls” Mountain Range (”Siguniangshan”) in Sichuan Province, China. Mount Fourth Girl has three peaks on the southern ridge. These are cleverly called Third Girl (5355m), Second Girl (5276m) and First Girl (5025m).

From Summitpost

2 men in a locker room will choose their lockers such that they will stand uncomfortably close to each other while dressing.

You would think the skinny pant as the obvious opposite of the baggy pant.

• Tight crotch vs. loose crotch
• High butt vs. low butt
• Long, thin silhouette vs. short stubby silhouette
• Undersized vs. oversized

Like most fashion trends, i would have otherwise left this alone except for the fact that I live in the mission. On any given day, droves of baggy-panted hip-hoppers pass my apartment window on their way to the bus stop from school, while droves of skinny-panted hipsters saunter the other way. So I subconsciously compare and contrast them on a regular basis.

And this morning my subconscious finished doing it’s mental math and sent me a memo:

I can’t see anyone’s butt

So there you have it: skinny and baggy are collaborators in the global conspiracy of obscuring, flattening, camouflaging and in general opressing folks’ butts. It’s the new Victorian fashion ethic.

check out the Ass discrimination swicki at eurekster.com

Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) today launched - not his 08 presidential capaign - but his 07 presidential exploratory committee. Not yet a year in the house and he’s gone all decision-by-committee. Brings a tear to my eye. Anyway, to get to the point, he clearly outlined in this speech his vision of an exploratory committee for and by the people:

Years ago, as a community organizer in Chicago, I learned that meaningful change always begins at the grassroots, and that engaged citizens working together can accomplish extraordinary things.

So even in the midst of the enormous challenges we face today, I have great faith and hope about the future - because I believe in you.

And that’s why I wanted to tell you first that I’ll be filing papers today to create a presidential exploratory committee. For the next several weeks, I am going to talk with people from around the country, listening and learning more about the challenges we face as a nation, the opportunities that lie before us, and the role that a presidential campaign might play in bringing our country together. And on February 10th, at the end of these decisions and in my home state of Illinois, I’ll share my plans with my friends, neighbors and fellow Americans.

In the meantime, I want to thank all of you for your time, your suggestions, your encouragement and your prayers. And I look forward to continuing our conversation in the weeks and months to come.

He obviously had in mind a community-generated, mass conversation about the topics that are most important to the American people. So, with no further ado I unveil the Barack Presidential Exploratory Commitee Swicki:

check out the obama swicki at eurekster.com

Watch the full video of his speech here:

ABC News: Obama to Launch 08 Bid in Springfield
Obama Presidential Exploratory Committee